Review: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra!
It’s not very often that such a fond childhood memory of mine is given the opportunity to play itself out on the big screen. Transformers? It never played any real part in my childhood, so when I saw it on the big screen it wasn’t with the fondness of someone who’d acted out their very own Transformers movies as a child, in the playground with friends.
That was the feeling I got when the opening credits rolled on G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra this past Saturday, at an exclusive screening in the prestigious Vue cinema at the O2 Arena.
My love of G.I. Joe (or Action Force as it was called in the UK back then), began during a turbulent time in my life, I’d just moved away from my Mother and Siblings to live with my Father in a strange part of town, and knowing no one I quickly bonded with one of my best childhood friends – over a game of Action Force.
My friend had been brought up on the franchise thanks to his older brother, and very soon I was immersed in a toyline and cartoon series that to a nine year old seemed far too good to be true. Here were the archetypal hero’s and villains, the stuff of imagination – brought to life by some of the most colourful and fantastical characters a franchise has ever seen, and even with the daunting prospect of Secondary School and my teenage years quickly catching up with me I found it difficult to let go of that series. It’s not because I was any kind of nerd (which I was by the way), but because I’d never come across a story so simple and yet so engaging at that young age! The good guys were the good guys, and the bad guys were evil – not because of any complicated back stories or a twist of fate – but just because that’s the way it was.
So you see, when G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was announced, I was as compelled to follow it’s production as I was with “The Dark Knight”. All of this I had hanging over me when I went into that screening on Saturday, and so perhaps unfairly, my expectations for this larger than life property were simply massive!
So onto the film itself, the synopsis is pretty straight forward stuff, one could say it had been ripped straight from the cartoon series itself:
Paramount Pictures and Hasbro, whose previous collaboration was the worldwide blockbuster “TRANSFORMERS,” have reunited for another extraordinary action-adventure “G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra.” From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos. “G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra” is directed by Stephen Sommers (“The Mummy,” “The Mummy Returns”).
The film opens in 1641, the ancestor of Christopher Eccleston’s character James McCullen is caught selling weapons to both sides for his own financial gain. In the bowels of an ancient castle, McCullen (played by the man originally cast as Destro – David Murray) is made an example of, a molten cast-iron mask is seared permanently onto this face, to remind people how traitors to the King are to be treated – and it’s at this point that McCullen Senior makes an almost prophetic pledge – that no matter what is done to him, no matter how much Kings of the world resist, his sons, and his son’s sons will always be a threat to the world – and so we fast forward to present day.
Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) are Special Forces operatives deployed to deliver and protect some deadly new weapons – four warheads carrying within them a revolutionary Nanomite technology – capable of eating through anything in mere seconds.
On their journey, their convoy is attacked by a mysterious military force led by The Baroness (Sienna Miller) and comprising of some very scary looking soldiers who are seemingly impossible to kill. Of course it isn’t long before G.I. Joe – the best of the best turn up to defend the convoy and before you know it we are plunged into what can only be described as “explosive, bone-crunching carnage”.
To say that as an opener this was jaw-dropping scene would be an understatement! The minute I saw The Baroness and the Cobra Vipers step out of their aircraft I had a huge smile stretched across my face, after more than 12 months of waiting I thought “this is it”, “Stephen Sommers has done it!”
What he’s done to be more precise, is to give audiences an almost note-perfect live action rendition of the G.I. Joe series as it was in the cartoon. The dialogue is hammy, the story fantastical and the gadgets are out of this world. In taking what I earlier described as “some of the most colourful and fantastical characters a franchise has ever seen” to the big screen, Sommers has successfully brought with them the same spirit, the same buzz that made the cartoon the success it was.
My favourite character in the film is without a doubt Byung-hun Lee as Storm Shadow. The character is everything he should be and more – a calculating cold blooded assassin and boy can that guy wield a sword! Every time he and Snake Eyes (Ray Park) face off against one another every other battle pales in comparison. Sure ALL that battles in the film were very well choreographed and pretty much glue to your seat but this was two ninjas in not just one death-match but SEVERAL!
I won’t give away too much of the plot but everything you’ve read so far is true, this film is definitely a brilliant setup for a sequel (which is rumoured to begin shooting next year by the way), and while the ending wasn’t the perfect ending I’d imagined, it certainly has it’s fair share of surprises in store for the unsuspecting audience!
My final note on this film is this: yes I have my issues with some of the costumes (Cobra Commander in particular), and while I believe Cobra Commander to be arguably the most iconic villain in this series, his story throughout the film is by far the best and who knows? We may even get to see the famous blue hood in the sequel?
This is without a doubt one of the most action-packed blockbusters of the summer, so if you’re looking for explosive action, sexy villains and some of the most mind blowing sets you’ve ever seen then G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra will tick those boxes – YO JOE!
Rating: 
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is released in UK cinemas everwhere on Friday 7th August 2009!
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