I’m currently seriously considering writing a letter to my local MP demanding to know why I was not made aware of this project before. It was announced late last year that Stephen Lindsay’s brilliantly ludicrous comic book series Jesus Hates Zombies was being adapted for the big screen with a script penned by Michael Mongillo and Jason Alan Smith, and we’ve just heard on the grapevine that actor Eric Balfour (pictured) will be making his feature directorial debut by helming the project. I’ve included a picture of Balfour in this post because he is one of those actors who no one recognises by name, but everyone knows well enough to go, “oh, that guy.” He’s had recurring roles in TV series such as ’24’, ‘Six Feet Under’ and ‘Conviction’ and starred in dozens of features, including ‘Skyline’ and ‘The Spirit’. From what I remember he’s a pretty good actor, though it remains to be seen whether he’ll be a dab hand at directing as well.

I’d like to request a brief silence before I give you the plot of Jesus Hates Zombies; it really is something to behold, even in plain old black and white.

“In a not so distant future, zombies have overrun the earth. Fearing for the future of humanity, God sends his son Jesus Christ to save humanity. Upon returning, he finds that his powers are greatly diminished as they are tied to others’ faith in him. So he sets out to find the last remaining faithful and rally them to his cause. Along the way he comes across various friends including Mother Theresa, Elvis Presley, a stripper named King, and a time traveling Abraham Lincoln, who brings his own problem along. Werewolves.”

Personally this seems a bit hypocritical of Big J, who many would argue pulled the zombie act himself on Easter Sunday, but being the son of God he’s probably at liberty to do what he wants. If you can’t wait for the film to come out you can buy the comic books at any self-respecting comic book store or on Amazon.

Source: Bloody Disgusting.