Legion

The original opening line of this review was: “Legion is a film that requires you to check your brain at the door”. However I found myself arguing that such a tone would be greatly unfair to expectation and the filmmakers. If anything, Scott Stewart’s apocalyptic survival-horror movie has too many ideas flying around alongside the blood and guts.

There’s the sense it wants to hit too many bases instead of focusing on what could have been a pretty good spin on the apocalypse-horror film. Unfortunately, by the end, the film’s energy and originality is replaced with outright silliness. I’m always suspicious when former special effects men get to direct films…they’ve hardly got a great track record. Remember Roger Christian, Pitoff and Marc Caro’s movies? Okay, Caro is more of a proper filmmaker than the other two, but Dante 01 was bloody awful.

If this was a graphic novel, it would rock…and be turned into a film anyway. Former special effects man Scott Stewart directs with a keen visual eye and style. And for once, the style does not smother the film like music video whiz kids are prone to do. Instead, there’s a slow build up and a tightening vice-like grip of suspense. In short, the film can summed up as: The Terminator meets The Nativity meets Night of the Living Dead meets the Book of Revelations. And for a good hour, it’s fine and entertaining.

It kicks off in Los Angeles and the introduction of Michael (Paul Bettany), an angel sent to Earth forty-eight hours before Armageddon reigns over the world and God punishes us all for being such an inhumane bunch of bastards. Once the film switches focus to a little truck stop and café in the Mojave Desert and we meet the central figures that play their part in this violent rendition of the Nativity play, the film, in visual terms, looks like Wim Wenders meets Edward Hopper meets Hieronymus Bosch. Oh, and the café is called Paradise Falls. Subtle, it isn’t.

The slow build works well and it takes about 0.1 seconds to realise Charlie the pregnant waitress (Adrianne Palicki) and Jeep (Lucas Black) the mechanic are Mary and Joseph for the 21st century. Also working at the café is Percy (Charles S. Dutton) and Bob (Dennis Quaid). There are telling signs that all is not right with the world; what with the telly not working, the radio out and the electricity on the blink. Only when a little old lady turns up with a potty mouth, grows fangs and bites the neck of a fellow patron, do the characters realise that the apocalyptic shit as hit the apocalyptic fan.

The disparate band of survivors are lost in a great confusion until Michael shows up with a cache of machine guns and rocket launchers and announces he’s got to “protect the baby”. Then things descend into otherworldly craziness. There’s a brilliant cameo from Doug Jones to watch out for and the “café under siege” moments suitably tense. On the whole, the cranking of tension and horror is well placed with freakish scenes of puss-covered bodies exploding and zombie-like demons attacking.

Another thing: the dialogue stinks like a field of eviscerated corpses. There is a deliberate sense of humour throughout the film, but Paul Bettany delivers corny dialogue like it’s the finest Shakespeare. There’s also a highly dubious pro-life discussion when Charlie talks about her attempts at going for an abortion and how she felt “death” when ever she went there. Is this an over-reaction? Perhaps, but it comes out of nowhere and adds nothing to her character. So why is it there?

Along the way, there’s the ubiquitous reference to terrorists causing the end of the world and a ridiculous birth scene that has Charlie up and about two seconds after giving birth, again, for around two seconds of screen time. Strong as an ox, this one.

The angel smackdown that finishes off the film is very underwhelming. Bettany’s Michael faces off against Gabriel, who has wings of steel (like Batfink!) It promises to be a great ruck, but it’s over in a flash.

The cast is game from start to end and Bettany must have enjoyed working with Stewart because he’s starring in Priest for him. Dennis Quaid does his best “grizzled old man” and Charles S. Dutton provides the odd laugh. The weakest character is Tyrese Gibson’s mystery man. Why does Hollywood continue to have black males talking in such “damn, that shit was wack”-style speech? Is it not tired and more than a bit racist?

By the end, one realises you can’t take Legion too seriously. Once this is understood, some of its crimes can be forgiven. Its humour may be misplaced at times and the dialogue bad-to-outright ludicrous, but there’s a sense that this is intended as pure b-movie bliss. Scott Stewart might be a talent to watch…might be.

I can see this getting trashed by critics, yet there’s a sense Stewart is attempting something unusual, unique and full of humour. Perhaps he fails…but at least the man tried. Plus – in what other film do you have a sweet old lady saying the ‘c’ word, informing a waitress; “your fucking baby will burn!”, and then proceed to bite out a man’s neck? Legion is not a big budget spectacle, it’s not particularly intelligent in the strictest sense or application of the word, but it’s not a waste of time. There are occasional glimmers of hope let down by a variety of issues. Funny, too, Paul Bettany recently played the man who destroyed God – Charles Darwin, and now he’s playing an angel. What to make of that?

Rating:  

Release dates:

5 March (UK)
TBC – (Australia)

Tags: dennis quaid, legion, Legion review, paul bettany, scott stewart, Tyrese Gibson